kim_vopni (00:01.58)
hi milly thank you so much for joining me today i am excited to hear your story it's quite a story and i'm excited to hear it from i've read parts of it but i'd love to hear from you about it and also the amazing work that you are doing so welcome
emilee_garfield (00:20.608)
thank you kem um so yeah i mean where do you want me to start my story so big so i can like i can start with like my last cancer diagnosis or i can jump way back to my original one when i was four which caused most of my issues with my pelvic floor health so you can decide
kim_vopni (00:25.96)
it is big
kim_vopni (00:41.4)
yeah i think it's important for you to start there because that really sort of set you on a certain path so i think that is really important place to start
emilee_garfield (00:48.248)
perfect
okay great so i'm going to take you back to nineteen seventy six the year i was born so i was basically born with cancer it was a rare cancer called embrionical rabamarsacoma and it's a connective tissue and it grew in kind of the bladder area kind of bldder towards the vaginal area so m they didn't diagnose it though until i was four so by then the tumor had grown
ally large and when they opened me up they told my parents it was an operable and then they closed my shut and i had two years of direct radiation to my pelvis in chemotherapy so at four years old so a lot of my trauma from you know this internal stuff i didn't know about comes from that part of my life right all unconscious but it was definitely stored in my pelvic region
kim_vopni (01:35.42)
at four years old wow
emilee_garfield (01:51.228)
sure
kim_vopni (01:51.92)
so there was nothing if i think of you know your your mom's pregnancy there was nothing or was there anything along the way that she had you know any sort of strange things happening in pregnancy and then in those first like how did they come to the diagnosis only after four years was there was there no symptoms before then or was it sort of a gradual process
emilee_garfield (02:13.468)
so my mom and my aunt said that i did have bladder problems a lot so i would like frequency i would have to go pa all the time my mom was a nurse so she was working all the time and then my aunt was giving me a little bath in the bathtub and i bent over and she felt this massive tuber like the size of a grape fruit and so my cancer i have no genetic cancer i have nothing in my jeans i've been tested um
and the the embryonical part so that the cancer cell started developing like six to eight weeks as an embryo but you know i came out looking normal and fine it was just it's a soft tissue tumor so it's just growing inside i'm very aggressive tumor um but basically after that like they sewed me up i did in my treatment i pretty much lived a normal life um and it wasn't until later in life that i started
kim_vopni (02:52.84)
wow
emilee_garfield (03:13.408)
to experience um issues around like having painful sex and just feeling different i never had a menstral period and you know always wondered like what's wrong with me but i was too embarrassed and i had so much shame around my body and so i just pretty much pretended like i was everyone else but really inside i was struggling like so alone and embarrassed and in
kim_vopni (03:36.76)
m
kim_vopni (03:40.48)
so you had the you had the treatment at four years and that went on for did you say it was two years of treatment two years of treatment and then regular bowel regular bladder function after that and then but you never had an onset of your menstral cycle okay okay
emilee_garfield (03:45.468)
two years two years
emilee_garfield (03:51.568)
yeah
emilee_garfield (03:55.928)
never ah never so then i'll jump i have like a couple like big mile stones so i'll just jump i'm goin to jump now to college so now i'm i'm twenty one and i now get pre cervical cancer what they called a displays i literally just like tune out and disassociate my body when they started talking and they said you need to have a historack to me well my step out at the time was
kim_vopni (04:15.3)
hm
emilee_garfield (04:25.828)
anachologist so he said no i should have a partial history act to me so when they went in this is very important the doctor when i was for my own cologist had moved my ovaries high up until my abdomen kind of under my breast out of the radiation field so they preserved yeah so i still had one over at this time the other one had just disintegrated from radiation and at that time they the doctor had men
kim_vopni (04:42.76)
interesting
emilee_garfield (04:55.748)
and something about do you painful sex and i was like ah like why um so i mean how much an yeah i mean i can share right it is like open conversation so um like i remember one time having sex with my boy friend and it was like painful for him to have sex with me and i was like what like he said it felt like you know he was hitting a brick wall and so of course like more shame right like so i have this fear around like sex and like scaring men
kim_vopni (05:01.96)
isn't that normal you're right
kim_vopni (05:08.32)
right
kim_vopni (05:15.46)
m
kim_vopni (05:21.4)
right
emilee_garfield (05:26.088)
and because i was different that's all i heard was your different so this doctor when i was in college recommended that i have a vagioplast my vagina reconstruction constructed so they went in when i was doing the whole history ted me at the same time at c s f and they took out all the scar tissue in my vaginal wall and removed everything and they inserted like a what do you call like a balloon extent
kim_vopni (05:29.1)
hm
kim_vopni (05:56.1)
yep
emilee_garfield (05:56.368)
and they showed it shut so i was in the hospital there so i took some time off of college and had to deal with that again so i was like trauma all over again and that was really like rough for me that was probably like the most embarrassing time of my life and just again more shame right and afterwards the doctor had recommended to my mother that i needed to buy these uhdiolators well
i was just like too embarrassed i was like there's no way i'm doing that and so i pretty much didn't like i like pretty much like sabotage that surgery because i didn't want to touch myself i didn't want it was just again it was very shameful for me and so that happened and then fast forward to age went three i get married now and then by a twenty
kim_vopni (06:38.78)
yep
emilee_garfield (06:55.728)
i've um we decided we gonna have children and i end up being able to have a sara mom by um they were genetically mine so the doctor had saved my so that was all exciting stuff so i don't know if this next part of my story comes from the fact that i had in vitro all the drugs um well i started up getting like severe concipation
kim_vopni (07:11.8)
hm
emilee_garfield (07:26.348)
severe bloating you know fatigue exhausted back pain and i was in a plati's training with susan martin and we were working on our scoliosis training and i was laid out flat on my back like i could not move and she was trying everything and i'm like she can't help me like what is wrong with me right so that was the first time i had like these symptoms like pelvic pain and anyway fast forward
i find out that i have advanced age re seal varying cancer
and this is where like the meat of the story comes in with the pelvic health stuff i end up having to have well first originally she told me my doctor a lot of casa cedars had said i was going to have a pelvic exoneration i don't know if you know what that surgery is but it again traumatic everything like we're going to take even your clitoris everything like make take your rectisobdominus and come through the vagina
kim_vopni (08:21.68)
everything yeah
emilee_garfield (08:31.208)
and you know um you'll you'll never be normal basically and i don't really want to do the surgery so she recommended that i have another biopsy because the first biopsy was labeled milarium origin they didn't know the origin of the cancer so that s why they re gonna take everything out so she does the here's the lesson here always get a second and third opinion she does the bioposy and she calls me one day an he's like hey i'm good
kim_vopni (08:33.46)
it's a big deal
emilee_garfield (09:01.168)
news and bad news the good news is that you don't have to have that horrible surgery the bad news is you still have to have the colon bag the iliosmybag but you have state trio vary in cancer ad there's no cure for it but i definitely know how to treat it so it was like good and bad but i took it you know and
kim_vopni (09:22.28)
can i interject there with one quick question what was the cancer in the over that had been more preserved okay okay and then just another question i want to kind of go back just a couple of years i'm sorry i didn't want to interject but when you when you when like many people are told they have displasa why was it indicated to have a full history while even a partial but historect me and why not like a leap procedure or
emilee_garfield (09:29.108)
yes yes yes
emilee_garfield (09:42.408)
yeah
kim_vopni (09:52.46)
because of the cancers history in the past okay okay got it okay
emilee_garfield (09:55.148)
i think yeah i think so i think it was the history yeah it was the history of the cancer so they were like just take it out yeah yeah
kim_vopni (10:03.2)
okay so now you are here now stage three ovarian you've had good and bad news and
emilee_garfield (10:09.128)
yeah so good bad news and i go in i have the surgery and i wake up in the hospital and my doctors like emily i'm so sorry m ah well the good news we got all the cancer i got it but she's like i cut through your bladder and i had this bag on me now and i was like bleeding everywhere and she's like i couldn't see your inside like your pasha was literally like a bomb had gone off inside
to your abdomen and your pelvis so i had a tumor in my rectum like trapped between posterior of a giant and rectum and then i had one on my colin so that's way i take out a big part of my colin and on my bladder and then the ment everything was covered and cancer so she was like it was a mess in there and i just from the radiation everything basically like melted together and i did my best but i cut through your bladder so ever since then i have
i been the same it's been very frustrating i then developed a condition called um uh overacted bladder double bilateral hydro what pronounced that word um and when i came home from the hospital like there was no health like there was no physical therapist that came in i didn't know what a woman's health no i have no idea about this i was a palates teacher i thought i knew stuff i new nothing i was like i dit even know what the pelvic floor really was like you know
kim_vopni (11:38.68)
right yet
emilee_garfield (11:39.828)
the basic training so i had a friend who had a colin bag and she's like hey you got to do these key goals like do a hundred three hundred five hundred a day because when you have that reversal i was supposed to have a reversal is the austin reversal um you don't want to poop your pants right so i'm out there like i don't even know how to do a keigle i was just like on the toilet like sucking it up right so anyway i get the reversal and we leave the hospital this is the second
kim_vopni (11:54.14)
hm
emilee_garfield (12:08.908)
surgery around
kim_vopni (12:09.9)
yeah so just sorry i just wanted to jump in there you you went into that surgery expecting the iliostomy correct but not except not there was no talk of anything that would potentially be wrong with the bladder but that was the biggest surprise part there okay okay
emilee_garfield (12:17.108)
yeah i knew that i knew that
emilee_garfield (12:23.828)
oh no yeah like shocker yeah i would you know carry this big old bladder bag around with me i had to go back to teach at my studio because i was a newly single mom going through divorce so i did everything in my power to get back to the studio and i would literally carry my little colin bag in my bladder bag and put it in a pillow case and sit on a chair my students were so kind to me but anyway so i have ten
more rounds of chemotherapy and then i have a rest and they do all the test to see if my colin now has healed so between the do so it wasn't a hundred percent for sure they were going t be able to do it but they they did and during this is interesting so during the pre um like check with the radiologist you know there's always a doctor say
kim_vopni (13:02.6)
to be able to do the re connection kant
emilee_garfield (13:24.068)
oh wow like you're a miracle like you had radiation didn't you i said yeah how do you know he's like your pelvis is so small and your your femers and your hip sockets like you have hipdisplasia and you have he's like you have radiated hips and everyone kept talking about this but no one ever told me like what i could do about it so i just pretended like again like i just ignored it pretty much i never wanted to be i just wanted to be over with right when you were young um
kim_vopni (13:50.78)
right right
emilee_garfield (13:53.868)
so the day i wake up and i have my ilios and reversal i'm super excited of course and i'm thinking like i'm going to go back to normal life's going to be awesome my mom and i get in the car and within you know twenty minutes like i have an accident all over myself and i'm crying and we're laughing and we're crying because we don't know what to do and i had a brand new car and so we were putting blankets down we're in front of this restaurant in san ama
kim_vopni (14:00.7)
mhm
emilee_garfield (14:23.668)
i ca and she's like can you hold it i'm like i can't hold it it's coming out so like i'm literally pen on a towel in the back of my car is mortified and i get home and i don't leave my house for two because i'm terrified right to go anywhere and then the pain starts and again nobody told me like to what to expect so basically what um i believe in my my coloructal surgeon believes it s because i had all that radiation
my pelvis and then all the scar tissue and then i had the surgery it literally woke up something and it traumatized the whole area so it was in spasm for days like really bad i couldn't even uncross my legs like i'm not thinking like it was literally i could not cross my legs i would stand i would cry and i said i want that colin back back because at least when i had that i wasn't in pain right i could least like have to worry about it so
that's when i started doing my home exercises as a palais teacher i would lay in my bed and do you know frog um you know just like let your legs open up and bought a canosana and i would just breathe and let my belly relax to get out of pain and other people are telling me hey you should be doing pelvic floor work you should be doing palates and giggles i'm like i am a palate teacher i know this this is not what my body is telling me so i listen to my body my aude was telling me
i restore like to relax like don't work hard right now and that's literally what i started doing and so eventually that sharp stabbing a shooting pain would disappear a little over time but i went down to my surgeon because i was really worried and she's like oh no like you shouldn't be doing keegles at all and i was like well like why didn't anyone tell me this so she's like stop doing anything like keeglewise like no contraction you are
already tight like you need to relax so basically that's kind of my story around that
kim_vopni (16:31.04)
when you had your that surgery did they take both bags was it a re connection of both the bladder and your bowels
emilee_garfield (16:39.488)
um know just so the yarn bag was just temporary yeah yeah they just so yeah they did they yeah they like it was amazing they re connected it and and you know i had a little fear around eating and food for a while because i don't want to get concipated again was like the big thing um but know i pretty much i went back to normal like i went back to normal life i m
kim_vopni (16:46.66)
okay sorry so that that that wasn't okay got it
kim_vopni (17:00.28)
yep
emilee_garfield (17:10.508)
you know i can exercise just had to be a little bit careful in the beginning about lifting and straining so i didn't get a hernia and then then i i went into my bladder i forget the name of it i would start a p blood now so now it was like always something so then i had to go into this hyperberic chamber for a month four hundred hours uh what do they call it systic it was like a bladder as it was lie
kim_vopni (17:14.599)
yep
kim_vopni (17:36.86)
sistoscapy
emilee_garfield (17:39.388)
radiated system blade i forget the name my bladder was bleeding and they said it was from the surgery and the chemotherapy like remember that i had radiation as a kid or something and it just triggered it so i've been seeing a gurologist ever since and it's been frustrating because even they can't figure out my bladder issue and yeah that's pretty much where i'm at today
kim_vopni (17:51.68)
wow
kim_vopni (18:04.54)
so you you were in bed you were starting to do you were listening to your body starting basically you weren't doing the eagle part you were doing the relaxation and the sort of release type exercises more healing and
emilee_garfield (18:16.308)
yeah because i had done the keegles prior to my surgery and basically like should have been doing that but like there was there is no one telling me what to do yeah so then afterwards again no guidance no physical therapy like not even a nurse coming in so i'm just like making the stuff up as i go so i'm listening to my body and i'm doing anything like pelvic floor stretching like wide legs like even doing a downward dog felt so good on my pelvis just the inversion of the pelvis or putting
kim_vopni (18:19.28)
right
right but again no guidance along the way right
kim_vopni (18:33.76)
right
kim_vopni (18:44.74)
right
emilee_garfield (18:46.368)
like a bull straw under my button lifting my hips up anything that would just that would take away the pain and my back pain because it's all connected right um and and even like my feet were so intensely sore like so i was like wow this is interesting how your feet connect to your pelvic floor or into your back and that's how i started exploring and got into like creating this little program that i do for women like me and it's only because i went through that experience and
kim_vopni (18:53.84)
hm
kim_vopni (19:02.66)
hm
emilee_garfield (19:16.068)
now that's just my journey
kim_vopni (19:18.4)
hm it's your journey for sure and there's other people who will have maybe snippets of the same thing and different journeys and and what
emilee_garfield (19:27.868)
right right and a lot of women i talked like oh i didn't have that i didn't have that and like i know like i had it though you know like and then i talked to a lot of women and and their worst off right they're like they got worse problems and they got rectal in continence and they're too afraid to talk about it so an instagramm like you know by sharing my story my hope is that other women out there um who are struggling aren't alone and they know there's help right and like i'm not a professional pelvic floor person but i am just
kim_vopni (19:33.98)
yep yep
right
kim_vopni (19:46.48)
hm
emilee_garfield (19:57.488)
the person that's been experienced it like i know what it feels like but you know it breaks my heart because a lot of women i work with are international in there in the little villages and they don't have you know insurance i don't have they barely even have supplies for coal and bags so yeah
kim_vopni (20:00.72)
hm
kim_vopni (20:09.84)
yeah
right right and you know what you're not you're not a pelvic heath professional but you are the pelvic health professional of your body you are the right and so there's so much value in sharing your story as you are and developing the programs that you are because it is such a tremendous value when people yes like pelvic heath professionals play such an incredible role and i wish that more people knew about them from when we start men
emilee_garfield (20:22.168)
correct
kim_vopni (20:42.38)
writing from when we're younger and we know that they're accessible to us but when you can hear from somebody who has been through something the same similar even if it's just little snippets that are similar to your own experience it is so helpful it is it provides some hope right it's just when you know somebody else has been and gone through it and all the stuff you share you have the most amazing smile on your face all that
emilee_garfield (21:05.268)
yeah
kim_vopni (21:12.36)
time you radiate joy and positivity you've overcome so much and i just think that that's such a huge important part that we can't overlook
emilee_garfield (21:21.648)
yeah thank you for that because you know cancer saved my life is my story and people you know because this time when i got cancer i wasn't going to let it rob my joy like i did my childhood you know like i was a broken little girl like i did all the inner child work and i didn't realize how much like pain that i've been holding in and sadness and comparing myself to other people and hearing my friends talk about orgasms i never had to orgasm like how amazing sex is and i'm like oh god like i'm terrified to have sex right
kim_vopni (21:25.66)
hm
kim_vopni (21:32.08)
hm
kim_vopni (21:40.0)
hm
kim_vopni (21:50.6)
m hm
emilee_garfield (21:52.068)
and knowing like something is wrong with me like angry like why do i why do i don't you know get to do this and like all that comes up right and and now knowing like okay like i also know in my own body that there's a lot of um emotion connect to my physical part of my body around like sex versus s that makes sense so um so that is something i've discovered um that's been interesting
kim_vopni (21:58.46)
right
kim_vopni (22:15.54)
yeah thousand per cent
emilee_garfield (22:21.568)
but yeah it's been a journey and i just don't want to live in shame any more i don't want to be embarrassed anymore i live my whole life feeling embarrasedso i feel like it's my way of empowering myself and taking back who i am because i know now who i am and i'm here to be vulnerable to be brave and to be a leader and really to guide other women um and even help other professionals who you know work with patients like me to realize there's there's you know it's not just
kim_vopni (22:26.16)
hm
kim_vopni (22:38.86)
hm
emilee_garfield (22:51.448)
physical but there's so emuch emotion connected inside that women aren't always honest about because doctors would always ask me like oh you know they would ask me a question i would always lie because i didn't want to be like bad or wrong you know i would just like oh yeah everything is great and it really wasn't great you know but i was too embarrassed to talk about it
kim_vopni (22:57.14)
right
kim_vopni (23:10.56)
yeah
and there's healing that happens with you sharing vulnerable vulnerability with others right
emilee_garfield (23:18.968)
oh yeah every time i share my story every time i share my story it's just like i feel so much more freedom and in peace in my life and it's like shedding one more layer right just get out so i highly recommend anyone watching like you're hiding like you know just find someone you can talk to and be honest with like i never would imagine myself being on a podcast talking about you on the giant coach right like but hey right it's my story
kim_vopni (23:28.56)
hm
kim_vopni (23:32.0)
hm
kim_vopni (23:40.28)
hm
kim_vopni (23:44.58)
yeah
kim_vopni (23:49.22)
yeah yeah and there's so much power and un and value in it so
emilee_garfield (23:49.768)
and yeah
emilee_garfield (23:55.128)
yeah and with i do you know there's a lot of moms that reach out to me of little girls that have rebdamrsacoma and it isn't there vagina and i've seen like pictures and like it's just heartbreaking um you know when they say what do you tell my daughter like i don't know what to say you know because you don't want to scare them but you also want to you know tell them like you know you i don't know if they have pelvic health or children or not but i would have been different like had they worked on the radiated tissues like at a younger age
kim_vopni (24:05.46)
yeah
kim_vopni (24:24.52)
yeah they do there are pediatricpelvic lar physical therapist so that is again it honestly boggles my mind when i really think about pregnancy child birth pelvic surgeries cancers of the pelvis the fact that there is no conversation around the muscles the tissues the care providers that could provide assistance during this time it honestly bogles my mind that it is not standard of care
emilee_garfield (24:24.888)
i don't know
emilee_garfield (24:46.488)
no
emilee_garfield (24:54.368)
no it's nothing like you sowed in you're out and the doctors are done like after that like you're on your own and that so i was like figure it out like i have to help people gave me a purpose right while i was in the hospital but i was literally flexing my toes pointing my feet like doing little pelvic tilts and i mean was it wrong or right i don't know but it did what it was like moving oxygen and circulation and i knew it's a professional movement teacher that like movement heels and i'm not going to be stupid and like do a sit up i don't ever do that right but it was like you know people are cool
they're terrified of my program like i can't do co exercises i'm like do you even know what your core is they think it's like like we're not even doing that we're just breathing as part of your core and so you know educating on people what your core really is and how your pelvic floor is connected to that i think a lot more people need to know about that
kim_vopni (25:28.64)
right
kim_vopni (25:37.16)
yep
kim_vopni (25:41.34)
yeah and you know as you say you had some movement education and there are other people i've had on the podcast as well talking about you know different but dramatic events in their life and they had some knowledge that sort of helped them along that journey and there's so many people that don't have that hey move their body their exercisers but they don't necessarily have deeper training so they are even more at a loss in terms of where to start or what to do and they are relying only on what's told them which is
very little and you know the surgeons are amazing at what they can do they are amazing and i am so incredibly grateful for the work that they can do it's not their expertise in terms of the muscle recovery the re training the movement capacity the facial structure system i mean i shouldn't say that they obviously know the fash but the influence to the rest of the body and it doesn't need to be but i would love if they would collaborate with the people
emilee_garfield (26:17.568)
amazing
emilee_garfield (26:30.828)
yeah
kim_vopni (26:41.26)
who could offer more assistance their pelvic lor physical therapist i honestly believe that that should be in every single surgeon's office as part of the health care team
emilee_garfield (26:48.368)
yeah my i agree both of my surgeons on cedars were like just amazed at my recovery they were like shocked so i failed to get into a clinical trial because i was too fit and i didn't have my body mask bein i was too low and so she's like whatever you're doing keep doing what you're doing like your exercises because you're clearly doing something right you know and i was like let's do a trial and she's said well adly i did
kim_vopni (27:01.42)
wow
kim_vopni (27:15.42)
exactly why don't we do a trial on my program
emilee_garfield (27:18.408)
i did and she she would because she's she's like on my board from my own profit and they fully support me and endorse it they sent books out into the hospitals like give them for my profit but she said emily there's not enough people like you like there's not enough unfortunately with ovarian cancer there's not enough women to do a trial and so that was frustrated with averancanc or there's just not enough attention and and so i was like well i'll do my best you know i can't help everyone but if i can help one person right that's one person
suffering
kim_vopni (27:49.16)
yeah amazing i want to get to your exercises obviously and sort of the movement practice but before we go there you talked about sex as being something along the way that has been a challenge so where are you now and is there a capacity that you have for orgasm and for insert of sex
emilee_garfield (27:53.148)
okay
emilee_garfield (28:08.628)
yes so everything now of course like um i have like a i don't how i say this like in past relationships um i feel like i would serve the other person and not myself so i would just make myself have sex so that because it would exactly and i would like cry under the pillow
kim_vopni (28:29.22)
hm
kim_vopni (28:33.52)
to get it over with kind of thing yeah
emilee_garfield (28:38.448)
i really hated it right and then it wasn't until i was thirty nine thirty eight that i actually had my first organism ever and this was i was terrified even after cancer i was like oh my god like can this happen you know just the first time i'm going to lose it so i really truly believe like it was in a relationship with the person that made that made me feel safe didn't force me until me like you know you know you know just just
kim_vopni (28:39.7)
hm
kim_vopni (28:53.8)
m hm
emilee_garfield (29:08.348)
it was more like a safe i felt nurtured cared for and for me that makes all the difference in an intimate relationship so yes i can and yes i have and i do need a lot of lubricant though so i don't have like um and the one problem that's embarrassing to is my bladder when i do have sex it gets i can like p and so that's super embarrassing and i hear that from a lot of women too so i just now know like this is the new normal
kim_vopni (29:11.0)
hm
kim_vopni (29:22.26)
hm
kim_vopni (29:32.08)
hm
hm
emilee_garfield (29:39.268)
and think you know i got married finally and my husband is so loving and caring and he's not pushy and so you know it's really like when i feel called to right like this is a schedule we have to have sex so that makes sense so it's all good it's all good yes but will it ever be normal like on't know have a short vegiantlike my gina short you know it's short and tight and weak and but you know it works its toll
kim_vopni (29:45.94)
hm
kim_vopni (29:49.3)
hm
kim_vopni (29:55.0)
m hm
hm and
kim_vopni (30:03.52)
yeah
kim_vopni (30:07.78)
did hormone therapy yeah exactly it works right and and you've achieved it so
emilee_garfield (30:08.388)
or
emilee_garfield (30:13.188)
it is a perfect no but but it still works right yeah and and this is my doctor did say you would love this she said right out of the gate right on the gate i'm goin through divorce two of this time and right on the gate she like you need to have sex and i was like what like what i felt like bad girl like you know and like who it's with like you need a real penis and i was like what she did and the nurse came in they were all laughing and i was like she was like well
kim_vopni (30:16.16)
yeah yeah yeah yeah that's amazing and
emilee_garfield (30:42.748)
you can get a vibrator whatever tilda but the real deal is better and you know i just found a lotte weird about that but she said you want to stretch those tissues and like you of course i had to at for my stitches but she's like you the faster you do this if you if you don't use it you'll lose it and she's like i'm not kidding you i've seen a woman of a giant close shut and that freaked me out so it's you know part of my exercise as you have to like have sex even if you don't feel like you want to you know you have to
kim_vopni (30:49.9)
hm
kim_vopni (30:56.5)
m hm
kim_vopni (31:07.64)
yeah
emilee_garfield (31:12.868)
the best of it you know in a good situation
kim_vopni (31:14.74)
yeah yeah with the right partner as you mentioned and did the conversation about hormone therapy come in whether it was local estrogen or systemic cormon therapy
emilee_garfield (31:16.808)
exactly
emilee_garfield (31:22.588)
yes so i they waited a year for me to start the astrogen patch um she did say i could do like the internal vaginal cream which i started but i didn't like because which is like um but maybe there's a better pill now like a smaller one but she said i should definitely do that from my tissues which reminds me i probably need to get back on that but i do take the astrogen patch so i started that one year
kim_vopni (31:35.42)
hm
kim_vopni (31:41.46)
hm
hm
kim_vopni (31:49.78)
hm
emilee_garfield (31:52.588)
after my treatment to make sure there was no recurrence and you know a lot of people over and cancer are terrified to go on hormrontherapy but she said you know your risk you're so young which is different like you know if you're over sixty she said the rules change because you are young you are more risk for so many other things like heart ease and ausiaproces so you know i was going for quality of life like i was so tired of suffering so i thought you know
kim_vopni (31:55.38)
hm
kim_vopni (32:10.1)
hm
m m yeah
kim_vopni (32:19.7)
yep
emilee_garfield (32:22.648)
even if i live one more year i'm i'm going to be happy right and here i am seven years later cancer for no recurrence and so i just trust my intuition and i try not to listen to too many people because it can get overwhelming and you know i just have to come back to my body and trust that my body is guiding me because it's done a great job so far and then i did start taking um test astern cream because i started losing
kim_vopni (32:25.72)
yeah yeah
kim_vopni (32:35.52)
hm
kim_vopni (32:46.12)
hm yeah
emilee_garfield (32:52.368)
all my muscles was really hard and i was getting depression so they put me on that and then a doctor put me on projestrone in my oncologist did not like that so that's been kind of like controversy because i don't have a uterus um but i don't know so it's really frustrating honestly like no one has like one answer
kim_vopni (33:10.42)
hm
kim_vopni (33:14.7)
how do you how do you feel
kim_vopni (33:20.24)
yeah the conversation and this isn't we won't go deep into the hormone conversation that's not the point of this but it is you know many people have a lot of fear around hormone therapy even if they've never had cancer in their past and and a lot of researches now coming out about some of the flaws of the study that created a lot of that fear and yes yes and there were flaws in that study there's also a lot of other research showing the benefits of hormones and now
emilee_garfield (33:24.048)
yeah
emilee_garfield (33:32.668)
oh
emilee_garfield (33:41.008)
the women's health study yeah yeah yeah
kim_vopni (33:50.4)
you know the conversation of bio identical versus the harmons that were used in the study like oral extrogen and the synthetic progested gins as opposed to micronized progestarn like there's as it's a big conversation yeah
emilee_garfield (34:03.148)
yeah yeah that's what so i know what you're talking about because my doctor has explained all that is different and so i'm on it because honestly i feel great my mental health is helping my mental health and for me that's super important um and like i said i'm going i'm just trusting and you know i feel great
kim_vopni (34:09.58)
yep
kim_vopni (34:16.58)
yeah yeah
kim_vopni (34:23.54)
well in the women's health initiative people who were just on estrogen so the people that did not have a uterus the increased risk of cancer was not there so and you know the influence to the bones and as you talked about your the heart and your mental health and stuff so really yeah the books that i really like i'm going to interview actually a doctor who i really like who has specialized in hormontherapy eventually but the books that i really like are the estrogen fix and
emilee_garfield (34:32.508)
exactly
emilee_garfield (34:40.667)
no i'm saying on it
kim_vopni (34:53.34)
regin matters there very evidence based bitten written by medical doctors and do provide a lot to help you make the best decision for your body so just for the listeners who are listening about that conversation that's good resource um okay but coming back here so we've we've talked about the sex piece we've talked about hormones and now you've mentioned these exercises so initially talked about sort of release releasing type poses stretched type poses and where else did
emilee_garfield (35:21.308)
yeah
kim_vopni (35:23.32)
what did you kind of we don't you don't ned to explain the whole exercise program but what is kind of the whole like overriding idea and philosophy around your program
emilee_garfield (35:32.848)
okay so my program started out of my own need of course and i call it cancer co recovery because cancer was in my core everything was for breast cancer women and i had frustrated like why is there anything real varin cancer right um so again um unique because i have this colin bag now and i have to get back to work and but first and i'm very hunched over so very tight and everything is just tight so there's like five phases
kim_vopni (35:42.14)
hm
hm
kim_vopni (35:48.24)
hm
emilee_garfield (36:02.648)
it's very simple and in the beginning you can get your own pace everyone is different like i was a fast pace mover because i had to get back and i know my body but if people aren't they're afraid to move they're terrified to move but it's just like diaphramatic breathing like breathing relaxing the dome of the belly that helps relax the pelvic floor muscles just doing that i could literally feel i could literally feel the internal scar like the two issues relaxing expanding and then i would like get on my hands and my knees on
i would try to spread my butt cheeks like make them smile always tell my clients your butt cheek smile and it would release the pain in my back and my pelvis again no one's telling me this my body is telling me um i couldn't sit for a while so i sat on a ball and just sitting on that large stability ball helped relax the pelvic just the that's all i did to sit on it and kind of rock side to side do some baby pelvic tail some circles easy stuff nothing nothing like no weights just body
kim_vopni (36:43.82)
hm
emilee_garfield (37:02.688)
like breathing stuff and then i felt i'm geting a little stronger and i would start doing so like triangle pose and yoga and downward dog every day was amazing for me that in my pelvis love to be inverted and then then i eventually worked up to like a twelve weeks i was like wow like i think i can do some gentle core work so i couldn't do it on the floor remember being in plates training i was like who that's just i can't do that
way too intense so i grabbed a little ball and i deflated it like half the air to give a little cushion and it felt like heaven on my sara was like well this takes the pain off so i only do that now i don't do any like that's how i do my work and honestly i teach all my clients in my studio and they didn't never even had cancer and they love that they only want that now and i only felt that because that's what i learn through my body right so i'm sharing my gift to other people even if they didn't have surgery
kim_vopni (37:55.38)
hm
emilee_garfield (38:02.848)
their back pain their s i join and their core so basically i always have to use a little ball under my pelvis and have a really hard time flexflexiflexing because of my scar i had so many surgeries so i'll use like a little ball under my upper back and just basically like i almost think of my movement like water i don't teach me very slow it's very like meditative almost like breathing and feeling and connecting that's that's kind of how i teach and guide the body
kim_vopni (38:14.9)
hm
kim_vopni (38:23.98)
hm
emilee_garfield (38:33.048)
nothing aggressive and then i worked up to you know i can do everything now planks everything and then i started adding weight but it was a process and and then um this is a funny story but the hardest thing for me and it's in my my book in my program is a simple squat which sounds so simple but i couldn't even sit on my toilet i was so weak i literally could even sit down and rolling to the side of a bed was so painful i would just sit in a chair
kim_vopni (38:41.32)
hm
emilee_garfield (39:02.748)
an exercise sitting tall that was hard work but i could feel and i trusted my body in my profession i knew that you need to start moving that scar tissue right away um and so i would just sit and breathe and i would make you know i would feel myself stretching take a deep breath in and this in the hospital by the way and then i would lie in bed and i would come back so it was constantly you know people will say what do you think once a week
no i was doing this a couple of times a day you know i was breathing and focusing on posture work first i didn't get into going back to the gym and lifting weights i was not it was not a rush for me because i knew if i wanted to heal long term i'm going to have to restore my body from the inside out and do it the right way and and of course do it the safe way because i don't want to have a horn i don't want anymore pain so i would say about a good year i was
but i was started competing in ball room dancing i was feeling good like yeah it was it was good i've seen a lot of women i've worked with a lot of women and they jumped right back in because they want to work out and start and they have a huge setback so i was like well you know you got to trust you know your body but that's what my body told me to do so
kim_vopni (40:06.34)
wow
kim_vopni (40:15.88)
yeah
kim_vopni (40:22.56)
yeah yeah in any part along that way and i know not in the childhood part but as you get older the other stages and kind of milestone parts of your story when did you learn about pelvic floor physical therapy and is that part of your health care practice now
emilee_garfield (40:46.008)
yes it is um there's actually a woman her name is dr christine peon she's in my town in santa barbara and she's in my program so she's like the i didn't want to just create a program that was like hey polani teaching ga teacher like know i wanted it to be like you know have specialist in there i want to bring in teachers to educate like it's not about me it's about educating people so i knew i wanted to bring in other people like you know the lymphatic system is all this stuff
relates to our health and so when i started seeing of course i started seeing the the women's health p t from my urologist because um she's like i think this could maybe help i don't know but you know it took me months to get in and i could even get in like there's not enough of them and so she would teach me stuff but she be like oh you can contract you'd have a finger and they're like oh yeah you can do this but it was more like coordinating like teaching me how to
kim_vopni (41:33.04)
hm
yeah
emilee_garfield (41:45.788)
orton the timing of my breathing with my internal muscles verses like holding my breath and the old me would just like want to work out and look good like the new me like no i want to make sure i'm functioning like i want to that's more important to me um i was going to tell you something else that
kim_vopni (41:48.8)
yeah
kim_vopni (41:58.36)
right
kim_vopni (42:04.78)
your pelvic p t she was in your yeah so how often do you see her
emilee_garfield (42:06.888)
yeah it will come to me
emilee_garfield (42:11.208)
oh bo talk i got both talk to my bloderthat tell you um i don't see her often because like i said i'm busy working and it's unless i'm on a routine schedule um but you know i was going there not that long ago because having pain in my pubic bone and no one could help me figure out what's going on i feel like maybe it might be like pubic lympanima or something but they all said no she thought maybe it's scar
kim_vopni (42:13.16)
okay yeah
kim_vopni (42:20.58)
hm
kim_vopni (42:31.5)
hm
emilee_garfield (42:41.048)
tissue so she's like massaging it um so i'll check in with her but i'll go yeah we have we have a great prayed like a great friendship so at first i was nervous like a little unsure um but once you find that one person that you trust it's no big deal like she does it all the time you know but it's really help like i can really feel like relaxes and and and definitely helps
kim_vopni (42:45.8)
m hm
kim_vopni (42:54.06)
of course yeah
yeah
yeah
kim_vopni (43:03.9)
yeah yeah and so you mentioned botas when along the the way did you have that done and did it help
emilee_garfield (43:08.548)
oh
emilee_garfield (43:12.468)
so it did not help um again because my bladder is different my bladder was radiated so my bladder was measured um and it doesn't expand so it's it's from the radiation my bladder is frozen like a little rock she said and it's very small so um when she went in to do the bow tox she she she's you know we don't know if it's going to work your kind of like a trial you you know we'll try
so it didn't work and then we did it again and it didn't work but it did shock the doctors because it cured or got rid of my bilateral hydro nephrosis which they weren't expecting so something relaxed in there and
kim_vopni (44:02.74)
so they were doing where they using botas simply to see if there could be some relaxation or was it from pain which i know pain kind of goes along but
emilee_garfield (44:09.948)
no no it wasn't me it was it was because just p p like always walking at p it's it's like the the bladders and spasm and so they were trying to relax like around the re throw or something like just to the flow because my kidneys are have both been filling with urine for seven years and they were like this is not good so that you know they did the bow tax for one thing but it did help the other thing so you know
kim_vopni (44:16.62)
yeah yeah okay
kim_vopni (44:27.46)
got it
kim_vopni (44:35.64)
okay so not a total loss i guess but
emilee_garfield (44:39.888)
not to a lot but you know i have been suggested that i should have a bladder bag but i don't really want one and the other one was cold self calf but i don't really want to and she didn't raly want me to be there so i just kind of you now make myself go to bathroom all the time and i'm always like buy the bathroom or you know when i'm out walking in public i have a you know i'll get panicky right i've had to go the bathroom on bushes before but you know but you know like it just it is what it is and if you start to
kim_vopni (44:47.86)
hm
yeah
kim_vopni (45:02.54)
yep
yep
emilee_garfield (45:09.848)
like rather than be so hard on yourself and learn to have compassion for yourself you know i used to blame myself like it was like my fault like you know but now like okay this is that little girl little emily who was four who cancer she didn't know what's going on she was terrified and so now it's time to like be kind to her you know in this big grown up adult woman right
kim_vopni (45:17.04)
hm
kim_vopni (45:32.7)
m hm and what sort of conversations do you have you have i know you have one daughter do you have what
emilee_garfield (45:34.668)
yeah
emilee_garfield (45:43.068)
so i have a daughter and a son they're twins they're sixteen and then i have an older son he's nineteen yeah
kim_vopni (45:46.08)
okay
kim_vopni (45:50.68)
got it and what sort of conversations do you have with with your daughter but put the boys as well about pelvic health maybe about pelvic or physical therapy has that come up
emilee_garfield (46:01.268)
um god nothing as come up now
no i did take my yeah they know my story and my daughter was like paranoid about you know answer um so she i've taken to the doctor and and you know yeah i don't know like we haven't nothing as come up
kim_vopni (46:06.68)
they know your story right yeah
kim_vopni (46:12.4)
hm
kim_vopni (46:24.0)
no and what would you say for other people who have i know some sort of a cancer diagnosis obviously yours is specific to a varian but you've had i would say lots of other influences along the way what sort of guidance would you give to them you've given us little tid bits along the way of intuition listening to your body relaxing going slow is there anything else that you'd like to add that i haven't asked about or you haven't mentioned
emilee_garfield (46:39.628)
yeah
emilee_garfield (46:52.768)
you mean just in general i can't
kim_vopni (46:54.38)
sort of like going through this process how to how to get to this to recognize there's a point where you can smile again you can
emilee_garfield (47:01.528)
oh yes that point yeah i call it the heroes i call it the hero's journey so like there's goin to be ups and downs right and like you're you're this you have his problem right now and you know for me was cancer first cancer and divorce but you know it's you can let it ruin your life and like focus on all the bad things and read the internet or you can choose to you know turn this into a different story and so one day i was on my couch and i knew that i wanted to help you
kim_vopni (47:05.8)
m hm
emilee_garfield (47:31.388)
well like i knew if i was going to live like i was going to have a purpose now so prior to cancer which i can't just say in my life i didn't know who i was i was this lost woman very unhappy in life had it all but still wasn't happy and now i'm like hey this is my wake up call to really check in with what do i need like i don't even know what i need even know what i wanted and to heal those old wounds that we don't even know that are in there but they're there right so any time some one would
kim_vopni (47:38.42)
hm
emilee_garfield (48:01.488)
or me um i was like what does that mean like i got to heal more right and so i saw this energy healer which was really the first part of my healing process um and he put his hands on my abdomen and he's like who like you're really hot like you're going to die of anger before he die of cancer and i was like whoa like that's like less than one you know so because not not everyone has had a traumatic past or my life wasn't traumatic it was just that little girl
kim_vopni (48:20.36)
wow
yeah
emilee_garfield (48:31.408)
i went through cancer was all alone the hospital getting radiation that's scary right so i create the story in my head and so basically i wanted to re write that story and so you can use this opportunity whatever situation whatever you know whoever you are to really look at your life and make changes for the better i didn't want my daughter to grow up being ashamed of her body in you know to be ashamed of talking about sex and like you
kim_vopni (48:32.46)
m
emilee_garfield (49:01.448)
i want my kids and respect each other like in relationships and to be honest so that's been the gift for me as a mom is like i'm very open with my kids we talk about everything and there's nothing off the table and i would just say you know use this time to set boundaries for yourself around your health because your health is everything and putting your yourself first
um because you know your body needs you ah your body needs you like it's a temple and an and it may seem hopeless and impossible right now but if you just keep going one day at a time like one step at a time and and you don't have to do it alone that's the big thing is everything i did was hard i made everything hard had do it alone if you can find people like you know allies and mentors and teach along the way it makes it so much easier to have a little community
kim_vopni (49:32.72)
without yeah
emilee_garfield (49:59.588)
that's what gets you through it and you will smile again one day i promise you will
kim_vopni (50:01.78)
hm
yeah you're amazing your story is incredible the work you're doing is amazing and i will have all the links to your program and your book and everything down in the show notes and i'm so grateful for you for joining me sharing your story but also for the work that you do thank you so much
emilee_garfield (50:07.428)
oh
emilee_garfield (50:17.508)
oh thank you
