The Key(s) to Great Sex After Baby

core and pelvic floor guidelines for sex after baby pelvic floor exercises pelvic floor physiotherapist Jan 10, 2020

By Kim Vopni, The Vagina Coach — Certified Pelvic Floor Fitness Specialist · Published January 10, 2020

Couple embracing in bed, holding hands, sharing an intimate moment after having a baby

Direct Answer

Most women can safely resume sex after baby once cleared at their six-week postpartum checkup, but comfort depends more on pelvic floor healing, core reconnection, and communication than on the calendar. Prioritizing lubrication, slow pacing, a pelvic floor assessment, and new positions makes early postpartum sex more comfortable and enjoyable.

Key Takeaways

Most doctors clear penetrative sex around six weeks postpartum, but healing timelines vary by birth type and recovery.
Reconnecting with your core and pelvic floor before resuming sex can reduce pain and improve sensation.
A postpartum pelvic floor physiotherapy assessment can catch issues like nerve damage or organ positioning that affect comfort during sex.
Vaginal dryness from hormonal shifts is common after baby; lube and a slow pace can ease friction and discomfort.
Trying new positions and talking openly with your partner about what feels different can make early postpartum sex easier and more enjoyable.

What Should I Expect the First Time I Have Sex After Baby?

Having sex for the first time after having a baby is a bit like, well, having sex for the very first time ever!

What will it feel like?
Will it hurt?
Will my partner enjoy it?

After babe, having sex for the first time comes with a whole new set of fears and questions.

My tummy is poochy. Something doesn't feel right down there. Is it safe? Will we wake the baby? Will my husband be able to feel anything? Will I get breastmilk all over? Is it too early? Waaaa!!! (That could be you or the baby crying!)

Whenever it feels right for you, here are some guidelines that can help lessen some of the fears and hesitations.

How Do I Reconnect With My Core Before Having Sex Again?

Most of the fears and worries are all centred in your centre – your core. Two major components of the core are the pelvic floor and the abdomen. These two parts of your body play an integral role in sex, and they are probably the areas you are thinking about the most right now.

It is generally advisable to wait six weeks before resuming penetrative sex, but until then you can, and should, take time to reconnect with your core. Doing so will help heal and repair "down there."

Core breathing will help increase blood flow and circulation to the healing tissues, it will help restore tone to the pelvic floor and abdomen, and it gives you time to just breathe, even if for a few minutes.

Reconnecting to your core will not only help you heal physically but with a stronger core, your confidence and emotional well-being will benefit as well. (Oh, and a strong pelvic floor means better orgasms, too!)

Do I Need a Pelvic Floor Assessment Before Having Sex After Baby?

You've heard me say it before and I'll say it again — every woman, especially every woman who has had children, should see a pelvic floor physiotherapist.

I recommend seeing one at around six weeks postpartum. Your physio will look at your healing tissues, assess the function of your muscles to see if there is any nerve damage, and tell you if your organs are all where they should be. Important information!

She will also tell you that sex is good for you, and that your pelvic floor – sexercise, especially with orgasm, is a great pelvic floor workout!

How Slow Should I Take It When Resuming Sex After Baby?

Whether it is six weeks or six months post, once you make the decision to "do it," take it slow and steady and use some lube. Hormones may contribute to vaginal dryness, and lubrication can help reduce any friction or irritation so you can enjoy it more.

By taking it slow, you and your partner can ease into it and ensure it feels right, and then be able to make adjustments if something doesn't quite feel like it used to or if something hurts. Sex should never hurt — if it does, it is another reason to see your pelvic floor physiotherapist.

What's the Best Position for Sex After Baby?

Before baby, you may have loved being on top, but maybe that position leaves you feeling vulnerable now, or maybe it just doesn't feel like it used to.

Don't get discouraged, and maybe try something new.

Most importantly: there's no rush. Enjoy your baby. Breathe, breastfeed, and bathe. Honour your body and allow it to heal. Sex will happen when you are ready.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long after having a baby can I have sex again?

Most healthcare providers clear penetrative sex around six weeks postpartum, once tissues have healed and you've had a postpartum checkup. However, readiness varies — some women need more time, especially after a tear, episiotomy, or C-section, so let your body, and a pelvic floor physiotherapist, be your guide rather than the calendar.

Is it normal for sex to hurt after having a baby?

Occasional discomfort during early postpartum sex is common, but ongoing pain is not something to push through. Hormonal changes can cause vaginal dryness, and pelvic floor muscles may need retraining after pregnancy and birth. If pain continues, see a pelvic floor physiotherapist to rule out issues like scar tissue restriction or muscle tension.

Why should I see a pelvic floor physiotherapist before having sex again?

A postpartum pelvic floor assessment checks for nerve damage, muscle function, and organ positioning that can all affect comfort during sex. It is one of the best ways to catch small issues early, before they turn into ongoing pain or dysfunction.

What if I don't feel ready for sex at six weeks postpartum?

That's completely normal. Six weeks is a general medical guideline, not a deadline. Recovery timelines differ for every woman, and factors like breastfeeding, fatigue, and emotional readiness all play a role. Sex should happen when you feel ready, not on a schedule.

Can breastfeeding affect how sex feels after baby?

Yes. Breastfeeding lowers estrogen levels, which can lead to vaginal dryness and thinner tissue, making sex less comfortable. Using a good lubricant and taking things slowly can help offset these hormonal effects.

What can make sex more comfortable after having a baby?

Reconnecting with your core and pelvic floor, using lubricant, going slowly, trying new positions, and communicating openly with your partner can all make early postpartum sex more comfortable and enjoyable.

Rebuild Pelvic Floor Confidence with the Buff Muff Method

Your pelvic floor is at the centre of nearly every fear and question about sex after baby — will it feel different, will it hurt, will I feel confident in my body again? The Buff Muff Method was designed to answer exactly that. It teaches you how to properly activate, coordinate, and strengthen your pelvic floor postpartum, so healing and intimacy feel easier, not harder.

Inside the app you'll find a 7-day pelvic floor fitness challenge to introduce you to a whole-body approach to pelvic health, plus the option to join the Buff Muff membership for ongoing support from Kim as you rebuild strength and confidence after baby.

You deserve body confidence and it all starts with the pelvic floor!

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